About A Girl
by HeyCourtney
Summary: Mary was a happy, normal 17 year old girl before tragedy struck her family. Everything changed, she's broken and learnt to trust no one until one boy comes along.
1. I'm fine's the biggest lie I've told

I'm pretty sure it's my fault we're moving. Like, after mum's accident I just wasn't the same. Everything kept bringing back memories that left me speechless, none of them were good either. I mean everything; the what seemed to be very empty school hallways – yes, it's possible for a hallway full of over 100 people to feel very lonely especially when everyone pities and feels sorry for you – reminded me of all the times my friends and even strangers ran up to me asking questions "Are you Mary?" "Is your mum the one in hospital?" "Why are you at school when you could be with her?" The worst question was "Are you okay?" How am I meant to feel? Happy? Sad? I honestly felt nothing; I didn't know what was going on. I thought she was going to be fine and that I was going to see her again, that my family was never going to fall apart. I'd perfected the answer to this actually, it was routine to me, put me in a contest and I would get it the same and perfect everytime. I'd look them straight in the eye, smile, nod and say "I'm fine." My bed and my pillows remind me of all those times I stayed up until 3am crying over everything and the fact I was losing my mum. The shops reminded me of when my best friend told me that his mum told him about the accident, that he got told it was life or death and she probably won't make it. Even spaghetti reminds me too much of the accident. I was eating spaghetti at the time with my cousins and then my aunty came home, in tears of course, she pulled me aside.

"Mary. Your mums asleep" she said to me, or at least I think that was what she said.

"Wake her up" that was all I said to the situation before I walked off. That was all I thought of the situation. I thought that she was just asleep and could be woken up. I didn't know about how she wouldn't wake up and I certainly didn't know that the last time I saw her we were arguing over a stupid puzzle. I mean I knew what "asleep" meant but I didn't know that it was possible to never wake up.

The mirrors the worst thing that reminds me of mum. I'm a spitting image of her apparently. I can't look at myself anymore because every time I do not only do I see my mum's eyes looking back at me – I see eyes that are full of hate and disgust. Not that I hate people or she hates people, mum was never like that. I wasn't either until she left. It's just that I feel so responsible for her death. She needed to get to the hospital sooner and I refused to stay with her, it was just too scary for any child's eyes – to watch your own mother dying in front of you. So, now you understand why I'm so messed up.

Back to the story I was trying to tell you. We're moving and it's my fault. If I adjusted to change and that fact that mums gone then maybe I would have stayed at The Springs and not have to move to Lillian Falls. I should have kept my grades up, I should have taken the time to grieve instead of bottling it up and taking it out on unsuspecting people who were just trying to help. A fresh start would be good though and dad did just give me his laptop so I can keep in touch with everyone and he offered to unpack the house and let me choose my room because he felt bad. I guess my luck was changing after all and it was hard for dad to stay in Springs. He needed a change of scenery anyway- seeing the garden everyday that mum worked so hard on was killing him slowly.

It's been a week now I couldn't bear to watch dad unpack everything by himself. It was hard watching him open boxes and finding all of Emily and mum's things. Of course Emily hadn't died- she just ran away after mum did. We knew where she was but I don't think she'll be coming back too soon. I don't think I wanted her to actually, as much hate as I had for myself – my "sister" will always be 10 times the coward then I ever was. I had the guts to stay around and not flee off to a tiny little town with my boyfriend when I had a family that needed looking after.

My new room was perfect. Nice view, lots of space, cool but not cold and my own bathroom! Although being the only girl living with dad had its advantages like getting to use the bathroom whenever I felt like it, but when dad was in there he took longer than mum did in there. I had just finished unpacking all of my clothes when I heard a massive smash in the living room. I ran down stairs, well I slid actually- fast and down the rail. I got around the corner and looked into the living room, dad was standing there, he didn't look too angry but I could only see the back of his head. "What'd you do now, clumsy?"

I walked into the living room and saw a stack of plates all over the floor, I looked up. I didn't know what made me more angry. The fact that my dad just broke the plates I made him for Father's Day last year or that my cow of a sister thinks that she's welcome in this house after she left for over a year when I needed her. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here." I spaced out my words and spoke every letter perfectly. The voice though that came out of me, I don't even think it was mine.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mary. I think it would be best if you took the $30 in my wallet and go the cafe or something? Catch a movie or something if you'd like." Dad was so calm, he brushed his hand through his hair, kind of awkwardly though. How could he be calm? I wanted to go over there and give Emily the meanest right hook- Mike Tyson would have been proud. Dad moved a little bit and I heard a cry. It was a baby. I instantly ran out into the living room to see. "That's not going to catch a movie Mary" Then I saw him, he was the cutest thing. The baby dad was holding, not dad. You could fit his head into one of my hands. He was tiny. I just wanted to hold him. I wouldn't though. I wouldn't ever let my guard down around Emily. She hurt me once before. It's not happening again.

"Hey Mary" I heard Lucas say from the other side of the room. I ran over and pounced on top of him giving him the biggest and best hug I've ever given him. He gave me a huge hug back. It's been a year and a half since I've seen him, I missed him like crazy. I hated Emily, but her boyfriend was like my big brother. He had that crooked smile and gorgeous ice blue eyes. I can see why she fell in love with him. Not that she deserved him. You know those nasty singers on American Idol? Who think they're hot but they're not and can't sing to save their life? She deserves one of them. Even THAT would be a luxury.

"Emily. What are you doing here?" I still had that voice that wasn't mine. I suppose that's what she's done to me though. I turned into a whole different person when she left.

"Mary. It's none of your business. Go do what dad said please." It was nice to see that her attitude hadn't changed. She's still as politely stuck up as humanly possible.

I was ready to get up and hit her but the fact that she had a baby now and dad was right there were the only things stopping me from knocking her out. I took the money on the counter, stomped upstairs, got a jacket and my scarf and stomped back downstairs. "I have my phone on me. Won't be too long, after all, whatever she wants must not be that important. Actually just call me when she's gone, yeah?" I slammed the door shut. I opened it again really quickly, ran inside gave Lucas a quick hug, dad a quick kiss on the cheek, admired the baby and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He must take after Lucas; nothing that beautiful could come from my sister.

Then I slammed the door shut.

As I made my way down the main street I realized just how many children there were in Lilly Falls. It was amazing. They must have really stuck to that "2.5 children per family" law. A white thing fell on my nose; it then turned warm and ran down my cheek. _Please don't be bird crap. Please don't be bird crap. _"HEY! It's snowing!" A little boy yelled out cheekily from the other side of the street, the way he said it was like it snowed every day there, how magical would it be if it did though? Wow. Snow. It was the first time I'd ever seen it. I wanted to stand as the delicate flakes landed all over me. I wanted to twirl around and dance in it. Then I realized how stupid I would look. So I didn't. I ran into the closest cafe instead and sat by the fireplace for a while. I never noticed how beautiful snow was – I'd never truly appreciated how warm a fireplace actually is either. I was by myself for a little while listening to my iPod when a boy, my age came over to talk to me. He took the chair opposite me and said hello. I was too busy trying to change the song and didn't really pay much attention to him; he was probably a tool anyway.

I nodded like I was listening.

"Or you can just ignore me. Thanks for that. What song are you listening to anyway?" He knelt in front of me and took the iPod from my hands and a headphone. That's when I finally decided to look up at him. It would be the polite thing to do, acknowledge his existence. He was obviously trying to make an effort. It was cute in a way.

That's when I saw it. I didn't know what to say.


	3. Chapter 3

He was the most beautiful thing to ever walk this earth. Yes, even better than Johnny Pacar and the world knows how amazing I think he is. He was pure perfection. He had the most amazing eyes; they were green in the middle and brown on the outside. I swore I saw a streak of blue in there. His lips were perfect too. Yes, I imagined kissing them and what it would be like. I'm only human, okay, I'm a slightly controlled human. A normal human would have thrown themselves onto him by now. I couldn't help but smile; he smiled back a playful crooked smile. Oh wow. He even smelled nice. Now that's rare. How many 17 year old boys who probably play football and soccer all the time and playing COD do you know that smell nice? I could see myself with him. I wouldn't say I'd fallen in love with him – I wouldn't ever let myself fall in love with anyone, my heart doesn't want to be broken again – but I'd definitely fallen for him. That much I was sure of. He had brown hair and it was naturally streaked through, good to see he wasn't one of those "pretty boys" but he did put some effort it. You know, actually brushed it! I didn't stand a chance with him. "You must have a girlfr-" I stopped myself before I said anything more. Oh wow. I'm going red, I can feel it. I can't believe I said that. "What I meant to say was, my names Mary." He laughed. His laugh was even perfect. _Dear God. This is your best work yet. He's pure perfection. Thank you. Yours truly, Mary. _

"I'm James and no." Every word that came out of his mouth... That was perfect too. "So what's a pretty girl like you doing out on a day like today anyway by yourself?" He signalled at the waitress "Two hot chocolates please. Extra marshmallows. Thank you." Perfect manners too! "Go on, stop dodging the question" He had changed the song on my iPod a minute ago, I didn't even notice.

"Hey – I love this song!!" I didn't intentionally change subjects; I really did love this song.  
"No way. Me too! Wow you really are amaz--- I'm gonna shut up now before I say anything stupid. So what are you doing now? And why are you by yourself, shouldn't you be with your boyfriend or something?"

I laughed at him. "No. I couldn't get a boyfriend even if I tried, and just family stuff. I don't want you thinking I'm a freak or charity case. I got kicked out of the house and paid to go to the movies and whatever." The hot chocolates arrived. Wow. The waitress was pretty... and James didn't even look. He was staring at me, trying to work me out. "What?" I was flustered again.

"You're different Mary. You put on this massive brave face, you can see it – you're hurt. That's just my opinion though. I'm usually wrong. Actually I'm sorry that was rude of me to say. What I'm saying is, you don't know me right? That doesn't mean you have to tell me everything, but you shouldn't be lying to me or to yourself." This boy's smart. Is it that obvious?

"That's a pretty big guess for someone who only just met me. There's a lot. You're not wrong. Want to catch a movie? I don't know what's on around here or where the movie cinema is either and maybe we can grab a bite to eat after? Talk then."

"Oh like a date?" Was he flirting with me? Oh I hope he was flirting with me. Wait, why would someone so perfect- how could anyone so perfect want me? I'm nothing special. Blonde hair, that's about it. "I hope so because I'd be pretty cut if we weren't"

"Oh me too." I flirted back. I need a time machine, right now! Someone rewind those last few minutes and erase me flirting back. I'm such an idiot and a hopeless romantic. I have no idea how these things work!

He took me by the waist casually, like we'd been doing it our entire life and walked me to the cinema. It was kind of daunting on the way to the Cafe- everything seemed strange and scary and I felt so unsafe, but now on the way to the cinema with James nothing else mattered. It was just us. We only met a few minutes ago as well, if that's not fate then I don't know what is. I felt comfortable around him, I could be in my grey trackies and pink singlet, hair messed up everywhere all hot and sweaty and I knew he wouldn't mind. It made me feel so much better about myself. As I walked down the streets I couldn't help but notice all the girls staring at us. It was at that very moment that I forgot about the rest of the world, all my problems and focused on James.

So we watched the movie, ate the popcorn, drank the soda and forgot everything until dad called me and said we needed to have a family meeting ASAP. I told James I'd walk home by myself; it was too cold for him to be out here as well. He wouldn't take that as an answer though and demanded he walk me home, so we walked home then he asked the question I'd been avoiding all my life, "What happened? What happened to hurt you so bad?"


	4. Chapter 4

I'd been asked it hundreds of times before but every time someone asked me I would just smile and tell them "I'm okay now." It was the biggest lie I'd ever told to anyone. I wasn't okay. I was never going to be okay either. Not anytime soon at least. James was still looking at me waiting for that answer and I could tell that "I'm okay" or "nothing" wasn't going to please him.

I explained to him everything with mum, the hospital, my grades, and my sister. I had tears in my eyes and as quickly as I tried to wipe them away, James had already noticed. He stopped in front of me and gave me the most amazing hug. I told him I was sorry for telling him everything and that he didn't need to hear any of it. He just pulled me closer. I looked up at him and for the first time I realized how beautiful his eyes really were. They changed colours as well. He seemed so wise, you could tell that he was thinking so many things but when his gaze met mine, I knew that I was his and that I was all he focused on. He leaned in and kissed me. This was my kiss though- I'm not gonna tell you all about it. That was my secret.

My phone started to ring. _Perfect timing. _It was Anna. I kind of had to answer my phone, it was a best friend law. "Hello" I said trying to keep from laughing, James tried to kiss me again playfully. "Yes, I'm listening. What's up?" I dodged it just as playfully. "Oh, Anna. Of course you can stay here, Brad as well? Yeah no that's perfectly fine, hurry though. I don't want you still in the city when it gets there." My face was all of a sudden very serious and even James could feel the bad vibes I was sending. I hung up the phone and started to make my way home even faster.

"What happened?" James grabbed my hand – it was the softest thing I'd ever felt.

"My two best friends from home, Anna and Brad are in trouble. The snow here was because of a major storm headed straight them. It's meant to be a category 5 cyclone, hail, flooding and storms. The adults are going to stay behind in the shelters but they have to come here and I know I'm rambling on right now but I'm scared. I'm really scared." He stopped me right in my tracks, I know I had to get home and warn dad but I needed a friend and at the moment, James was all I had. He held me for what seemed like forever, it must have been a while though because when I looked back up the street lights were on. "I have to go. Anna and Brad are going to be here in the morning and I haven't even told dad yet."

"At least let me walk you home." He was genuinely concerned. It was really sweet. He was really sweet and perfect. Did I mention perfect?

He walked me home. Sure enough dad was out the front waiting for me with the porch light on. The look on his face told me that I wasn't going to be in trouble. I took James up to dad.

"Dad, this is my friend James. He made sure I got home safely." James extended his arm and shook hands with dad.

"Well he's a lovely friend. Thank you for that, I was so worried. I take it Anna called you and told you she was coming? You look like you've been crying that's all."

"Oh yeah," I forgot about when I was crying. Dad's turned into a very keen observer the last few months, "they're still coming over in the morning right?"

"Darling, the storm was worse than we all thought and it got to the city a lot quicker than we first anticipated."


	5. Chapter 5

Before he got to finish his sentence a car that I'd seen hundreds of times before and had been in more times than our own, pulled up in our driveway. I checked next to the license plate for the learners' sticker, oh by now it would be a provisional sticker actually. Sure enough it was, Anna gracefully hopped out of the car and ran up to me. The door was still open and sure enough our favourite song was playing- it was the same song actually that James had made me listen to earlier, _Young – The Summer Set. _She looked me up and down as she always does when she sees me, "Wow. Something's happened to you. You are so much happier, oh; I've seen that face once before. Where is he?!" I hate it how she knows me so well. She has that sort of gift with everyone though. She looked over my shoulder, "oh, he is cute missy. Good job. Brad's in the car if you wanted to say hi. He's been quiet the whole way here, sort things out will you? Staying here and away from his parents is hard enough but I don't want you two being completely weird and fighting all the time. Now if you don't mind me I'm going to go warn your little _'friend'_ about what happens to guys who mess with your heart. Oh, and I'll say hi to dad too." She's always called my parents mum and dad and I've always done the same. She's been like my sister for quite literally all my life. I watched her run over and hug dad.

I made my way down the driveway, it felt so long actually. I was really anxious actually. Did Brad even want to see me after the way we left things? You see, before I left Brad, Anna and I were best friends. We all met in kindergarten. Me leaving was really hard on them both, Anna was completely accepting of it though but Brad wasn't. I think he was just upset but we started to fight a lot more and every little thing was just a challenge. I didn't want him to hate me. I guess this was the moment when I find out where I stand.

The door opened and wow had Brad changed in the few weeks I'd been away. I was taken aback by him actually. The last time I saw him he had hit puberty hard, his hair was just an epic fail and too long and he had no sense of style. I gave him the once over. His skin was perfect and tanned, I could finally see his ears, and his hair was styled perfectly and even streaked through a little bit. It'd gotten darker though, I could have sworn it was a light brown last time I'd seen him. Either way he was gorgeous now. He looked at me and said nothing so I moved towards him and put my arms around his waist. I felt like the biggest idiot because he didn't put his arms around me in return. I went to pull away but instead he pulled me back towards him and gave me the warmest and most welcoming hug I'd ever gotten. "I'm sorry" That's all he said, I hugged him tighter. At that moment I knew we were okay again, if anything the distance made me appreciate my best friend even more.

"There's someone I want you to meet." I told him, I dragged him up the driveway since it took him forever to walk anymore- I could only imagine how long it would take him going up the hill. "This is James, James this is my best friend Brad. I don't know where this thing between James and I is going but at the moment it seems pretty perfect, he's perfect" I looked over to James who seemed to be in his own little world now.

"Oh. I'm gonna go and grab my stuff from the car." Brad seemed eager to settle in.

"I'll help. One second, I'm just gonna ask dad if James can stay for dinner."

I ran back out as soon as I could. Knowing Anna she would have packed her entire house and as strong as Brad looked I doubt even he could carry her things. Meanwhile, Anna and James were in the kitchen helping dad with dinner, I asked him to help bring in all of the stuff but he said he'd rather let dad get to know him first.

I helped Brad bring in all of the suitcases and by then it was time for dinner.

I sat across from James, who was next to Brad. Anna sat next to me and dad sat at the head of the table. It was the best tacos that I'd had in a very long time and you could tell that Anna had made them. I don't know what it was but I could tell that Anna and James were going to be good friends. They both scared similar tastes in music, they obviously both got a long and honestly, I know I'd only met James this morning but he gave her a look. A look that I was very familiar with when it came to guys. A look that he gave me earlier this afternoon. I just can't remember exactly when.

"Wow Anna these tacos are the best! One of the best things I've tasted in God knows how long." James praised Anna. That's when it hit me, I do remember that look he was giving Anna. He thought I hadn't noticed. It was that look he gave me right before we kissed. He was falling for my best friend.

"May I be excused dad?" I looked over at dad, who looked over at James who looked over at me and I looked over to Brad. That was a stupid move Mary. Brad knows you even better than Anna and your own father does. I've blown it. Brad knew something was wrong.

"Sure sweetie"

I ran straight upstairs, shut the door and started to cry.


	6. Chapter 6

It felt like someone had just ripped out my heart and placed it on display for everyone to poke and experiment with. The guy that I had fallen with, the one that could be perfect and the one is falling in love with my best friend. Great. I couldn't hate Anna though. I would never hate Anna. It wasn't her fault she was so much better looking than I was. It wasn't her fault that at the snap of her fingers she could get any guy. She had them lined up for miles, but she wouldn't take the guy I wanted. She would never ever do that. She was too perfect for that.

Gosh. Being in this room is just making me feel even sorrier for myself. I knew I had to clear my head and a walk around the block would do just that. I wiped my eyes and headed back downstairs. I faked the smile that I'd been faking half my life and put my food in the microwave.

"Um dad, I'm not feeling too well, I think I need some fresh air. I have my phone on me, I'm only going around the block." I grabbed my coat and stepped outside. It was freezing out there and it was still snowing but I needed the distraction. Actually, I needed any distraction. I started to remember early this afternoon when James and I kissed in the snow and started to cry again. I felt pathetic. I could hear footsteps behind me and as I turned around I could see a car that was slowing down to my walking pace next to me. I picked up the pace a little bit and sure enough the car did too. I panicked a little bit. I didn't know the way around any alleyways, I only knew straight ahead and back around the block. The car stopped and the lights inside went on. The man inside looked so mysterious and dangerous, yet there was something appealing about him. He was a P plater and I knew that he was around my age. He gestured for me to come and get in the car.

"Oi buddy, back off." It was a voice that I didn't recognize coming from behind me. The guy came up and put his arm around me, I certainly recognized that though. The car drove off quickly and I turned around, "James..." I whispered. It wasn't James.

"Sorry to disappoint." Brad had just saved my life. Who knows what would have happened to me if he hadn't shown up.

"Thanks." I looked down at the ground, I couldn't bear to look him in the eye now. I was too hurt.

"Don't try and fake it. I've watched you fake it for the past year and a half. Let's talk."

He took my hand and walked me across the street to the park and we sat and talked about what happened under the moonlight for what seemed like hours. After the story was told, I had nothing left to say so I leant back onto the grass and looked up at the stars. "Do you think dad's worried?"

"No. I sent him a message when I saw you walking and that I was going to the park with you. It's all sorted out." Brad seemed so wise sometimes and I didn't know if it was because he just spent an hour listening to me ramble on about nothing or because he thought of that. Just then Brad lay down next to me, well more on his side so he could face me and talk. "Do you remember when I was in year 3 and I lost my underwear in the pool at the swimming carnival?"

"Umm I guess I do. Okay. How could I forget?!" I giggled.

"And then you jumped into the water even though you were scared to swim just so you could bring me a pair of your gym shorts that were too big?" His face went very serious all of a sudden.

"Yeah- why?" I was still trying not to burst out into laughter, I buried my head into the space between his chest and his arm to stop myself.

"Well... That was the nicest thing anyone's done for me." He put his arm around me and laughed with me. We spent the next 3 hours talking about nothing watching the shooting stars fly by. I of course made wishes on all of them, I only heard Brad wish on one. Must have been one good wish.

"Hey Brad?" I mumbled half asleep. I couldn't be sure of what I was saying right now because I'm pretty sure I was already asleep. He made that funny little grunt noise he always does whenever he wants to let you know that he's listening without actually moving his lips. "I love you, you know that?" If I was any more awake I would have freaked out. Luckily I wasn't.

"Come on princess, you're tired. Let's get you home." I felt him pick me up the greatest ease and start to carry me home. James must have still been there because dad's car hadn't moved an inch.

"They're upstairs" Dad whispered as Brad put me down and let me walk to the upstairs living room to say goodnight and apologize to everyone while Brad spoke to dad.

I made my way heavily up the stairs to hear the sounds of laughing and scrabble letters. I looked up and saw James leaning in towards Anna for a kiss.


End file.
